close the age gap, solve the crisis(!)

with 6 comments

The following will assume you are familiar with the following premises/jargon:

(a) The shidduch crisis: This is, roughly, a so-called crisis facing right-wing Jewish Orthodoxy today, namely that young (though clearly, perception of age is wildly relative) Jewish maidelech have — gasp! — no one to marry. (The term is not usually used to describe the situation of their male counterparts, who are generally thought to enjoy major advantages in their nuptial-seeking. Why that is will be discussed below, or in the near future.)

In reality, is it a crisis? Hard to say — there aren’t hard numbers readily available. But, for argument’s sake, let’s grant that there are more single + eligible Orthodox women than there were in, say, the shtetl-times, which seems to be the de facto period with which to compare modern Jewish life. (It is, obviously, a false ideal; a strange, misguided notion that then — and only then — was the experience of pure, unfiltered Judaism available. Seriously ain’t so.)

Now, what emerges is that it’s hardly relevant whether the crisis is real or not: a perceived tragedy is just as bad as the real thing. A girl unmarried at 24 (or 22 or younger even, depending on the sanity of the parents/educators) is automatically a ‘victim’ of this crisis. And everyone goes berserk, running to shady kabbalists and yucky matchmakers and whatnot. Poof! — she’s a nebach. Which is highly unfortunate, but understandable, given the general propensity of this community to go berserk. But this oh-so-insidious process actually starts earlier — everyone is afraid of being / having the girl who’s a nebach. So the mad preparation starts as soon as possible. The minute there’s even a whiff of eligibility, immense pressure is put on the girl to be marriage-material, and on the parents to do the preparing. And oh, it’s a lot of pressure, for both. Who wants to be labeled a failure (or worse: a pity case) in your early twenties? Methinks many very lovely girls are acutely suffering from the barely-implicit message that they are a disappointment.

There’s oodles more to be said on this — and that’ll come — but the real fun lies in the community’s response. Why is this happening? they wonder while stroking their beards. One possibility: the Age Gap! I’d explain it, but you wouldn’t believe me; you’d accuse me of misleading and exaggerating for comic effect. So I won’t, and instead, let it come straight from the learned horse’s mouth. Enjoy, and I’ll be back tomorrow with a play-by-play analysis.

Written by menachemkaiser

30 November at 22:51

Posted in rants

6 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. IS that simplistic yet catchy phrase “Close the age gap, Solve the crisis” a play on the famous catch phrase from Season One of the popular TV series, Heroes.
    Does “Save the Cheerleader, Save the World” ring a bell.


    30 November at 23:38

    • This is an interesting theory, but I doubt the phrase’s creator had Heroes as an inspiration. “Save the cheerleader, save the world” does not, unfortunately, ring a bell, but it sure sounds tantalizing.


      1 December at 14:12

  2. I don’t know what you’re talking about, Menachem. This is a wonderful and extremely informative video presentation. I had no idea that I had contributed to this tragedy by marrying an older man. I would also like to point out the interesting solution this video seems to offer. The 23 yr. old men should marry the 21 yr. olds, divorce them, marry the 22 yr olds , divorce them and then marry the 23 yr olds. Viola! shidduch crisis averted!


    1 December at 17:18

    • How do you know my real name?!

      Agreed — this was an informative video presentation. And your interpretation of the video’s solution is much less dramatic than mine: I thought it was saying that we should kill the 21 yr. olds after they marry the older guys, who can then move on up to their own age bracket. Strangely, divorce never entered my mind.


      2 December at 13:26

  3. […] The Age Gap. Gotta be it. After that point, I don’t really understand the video (some took a stab), but I think it’s something along the logical lines […]

  4. Very nice sahre thanx you . have a good time

Leave a Reply to Batsheva Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s